When it comes down to rekindling the romance of the relationship with your significant other, the struggle is real...
If you want to have a happy relationship, I know how difficult it can be to re-ignite the spark that brought you and your partner together in the first place.
But what if I told you that there are certain things you need to stop doing if you want to have a happy relationship? Read on to find out how.
The #1 Disaster Ingredient for ruining a happy relationship… How can anyone be happy in a relationship when they don’t appreciate what they have and are constantly looking for ways to complain about what their partner offers them or lack of?
Surely, not everything can be perfect in a relationship but how we see and deal with things form a recipe for either success or failure.
In this post, I’ll be sharing with you 8 things you need to avoid (or stop doing immediately if you are doing them already) to have a truly happy relationship.
These behaviors and reactions, deprive your relationship of some of the most fundamental ingredients for a successful bonding and if exhibited for a long time can even lead to a breakup.
So, let’s see them one by one.
8 Things To Avoid If You Want A Happy Relationship And An exclusive Guide To help You Get There
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“But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.”
If your relationship is feeling a bit stale for sure you can turn it into a happy relationship. Here’s a short list of 8 things you might need to stop doing to bring happiness back.
1. You leave things to chance
The relationship is something intangible, yet alive and functional, and if it does not have a goal, it is not going to work.
You may be driven by passion and chemistry, which is fair enough and essential, especially in the initial stages of a connection.
But if you don’t know what you want from a relationship, then there is little hope of finding yourself in a happy relationship.
Leaving things to chance and as life or fate brings them will not work. Talking about your needs and expectations is crucial for the lifespan and quality of your bond.
However, you must also keep in mind not to overwhelm your partner with your dreams about creating a family or living together too soon, because it will backfire too.
Just go with the flow but have a clear vision of the future also. Always keeping in mind the vison of what a happy relationship looks and feels like.
2. You play the savior of your relationship
If you’re always the one who backs off to not upset the partner, sorry to say, but you’ve missed the chance of creating a happy relationship.
You may think that in this way you save yourself and the connection from frictions and crackles that would result in it’s collapse but this will not have a happy ending.
Playing the savior of your bond will not make you morally superior.
Instead, it will gradually make you lose yourself. What’s more, you are putting on an inauthentic façade with that kind of behavior while your partner thinks everything is ok.
It’s one thing to know how to back off to find common ground with someone, and quite another to not know when to say no. Constantly being the peace maker is not walking the path to a happy relationship.
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3. You compare your partner
A person’s romantic relationships are somehow cumulative. We all keep something from past experiences that serves to see signs and anticipate situations in the next relationship.
However, this does not mean that you can act with the fear of an old failure, or highlight the sides that your current partner falls short of compared to your previous one.
If everything reminds you of old loves and you fall into deep contemplation based on the bitter experiences of the past, then you are doomed to relive them.
So, avoid shooting yourself in the foot and enjoy the person you have by your side. It’s a fundamental element of a happy relationship.
Another great post on the topic:
4. You only weigh the cons of your relationship
You’ve heard of weighing the pros and cons of an issue. The truth is that humans have a natural tendency to focus on the negatives of a situation and minimize the positives.
If you highlight every day how problematic certain parts of your relationship are, while you “forget” to see what it offers you, you need to sit down and list them.
What happens then is that, the negative feelings that arise in you, and your partner, will prevail over the positive ones. And pretty soon, resentment will arise which poisons an otherwise happy relationship.
“A person isn't who they are during the last conversation you had with them - they're who they've been throughout your whole relationship. ”
:Looking for inspiration to bring more positivity into your life?
Be sure to check out my beautifully designed with insightful prompts and inspiring quotes, Gratitude Journal -click here
5. You are playing the Judge
The closer we get to a person, the more we get to know them and become familiar with their traits and habits.
You feel that you have the “freedom” to judge and criticize their choices, with the inner goal of helping them become better.
But if at the end of the day what your partner gets is a list of things they did wrong, situations they could have handled differently, and general disapproval, the future of what would be a happy relationship will end up uncertain.
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"Every one of us needs to show how much we care for each other and, in the process, care for ourselves."
6. You care about other people’s opinions (a lot)
If you care about what people will say about your partner or how you act in your relationship then you are entering dangerous territory.
Third parties like your family members, your friends, your colleagues, or even your neighbors can have their opinion and maybe even share it with you but at the end of the day, it is unnecessary.
What matters the most is how you feel in the relationship. If seeking out others’ acceptance weighs more than your connection then you should reconsider why you found yourself in that relationship in the first place.
A happy relationship needs two parties; third parties only create noise…
7. You want to change your partner
Ok, this is crucial.
If you tend to fall in love with someone and then go about the process of changing their appearance, behavior, social status, and even home décor then you don’t want a relationship.
You want a project, or a piece of clay to mold according to your wishes and preferences. If you are familiar with the story of Pygmalion, the sculptor from Greek Mythology you get the point.
Pygmalion was so disappointed by women that he decided to make a perfect sculpture of a woman – according to his ideal vision of her – and with which he then fell in love.
But, this was Mythology, not real life…
Of course, you will need to ask for some adjustments, compromise is a pillar for all relationships after all, but accepting your partner as they are at their core is a very important aspect of a happy relationship.
Love and respect cannot grow otherwise.
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8. You don’t talk (not when you have to)
If you avoid sharing with your partner what bothers you about their behavior then you are setting up a minefield.
Sulking, giving the cold shoulder, or convicting your partner to the abusive “silent treatment” will only open the door for your happiness to escape.
Keeping your partner’s mistakes as a hidden ace up your sleeve to use in the future won’t give you more power in the connection.
If something is bothering you, say so.
Articulating it at the right time and with the right attitude will enhance open communication and hinder future conflicts and resentment from growing.
Conscious communication will lead you to a happy relationship.
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“If you want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.”
Bottom line for enjoying a Happy Relationship
Having a happy relationship takes time and dedication. And it goes hand in hand with healthy habits cultivated by both parties.
So, now that you discovered how you may sabotage the joy in your relationship and undermine its future you may want to dive a little deeper into the subject…
My exclusive guide Relationships Almanac is just a click away and it can offer you more insight into the art of creating happy, fulfilling, and long-lasting relationships.
What makes a healthy connection and a happy relationship, why you need them in your life and how to be a successful relationship maker!
What better way to start a new phase in your life, if not with forming stronger connections and happy relationships with the ones you like?
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